The sheep baa in the distance as I shuffle away from the meditation platform shrouded in a grey and white blanket. I look back at those shuffling behind me, similarly cloaked in their grey and white blankets and giggle. “I don’t know why they think we’re a cult.” Laughter rings out, breaking the solemnity. Not … Continue reading Juicy Mountain Recovery
Category: Recovery
I remember when…
I've just started a writing course and our first task was to write a couple of paragraphs starting with "I remember the time when", I thought I would share it for something different and sweet... I remember the time when summer was endless. In my memory it has now become one perfect day when Jenni … Continue reading I remember when…
Pulse Check
It’s coming to three months since I finished active treatment and as I’m about to change things up radically, I thought I should do a check in of where I am right now. My personality is coming back and is both the blessing and the curse it has always been. Obsessive, diligent planning is assisting … Continue reading Pulse Check
Speed Demon
As I was conquering my distance goal last week, I pondered if I would be able to improve my time. It seemed a distinct possibility as I had picked up my pace for those last couple hundred metres and begun to feel my body move the way it’s meant to. So I set myself a … Continue reading Speed Demon
Jessican
I am changing my name to Jessican. During treatment I enthusiastically signed up for a swim holiday in October. Reading the fine print after, I realised that I’ll be swimming 25km in that week and, as a minimum, I should be able to swim 2.2km in an hour before I go. Pre-surgery this would not … Continue reading Jessican
Obsession
Three tears slid down my right cheek to pool on my chin before continuing down my throat to where my breast used to be. I held one hand on my heart and the other on my stomach as my yoga instructor told us our stomach is our core and knows the truth. What is it … Continue reading Obsession
Rehab…rewhat?
As I sat for the 6pm dinner, watching an ancient man being fed by a nurse, I realised that there had been a serious misunderstanding. Months ago I had found a brochure in a waiting room that sang to me of hope, a German rehabilitation centre for cancer survivors in their 30s and 40s. My … Continue reading Rehab…rewhat?
Moody AF
I swam 1000 metres today! I needed it because I am moody as fuck. I keep wondering if it’s my hormone therapy kicking in, but I have the vague suspicion that it’s just life. I had a gastroscopy on Wednesday which is always awful even if the results were good. And I really hurt my … Continue reading Moody AF
Buddha belly running
My love/hate relationship with running started ten years ago when, as a bit of a big talker, I told my manager that I could whip his ass in a half marathon and he called my bluff and got me to sign up for one. I may talk before I think, but I am also a … Continue reading Buddha belly running
Swimming in Sweden
Five years ago, on a ski course, I walked into a guesthouse restaurant to see a man grinning awkwardly. I grinned awkwardly back and made a new best friend. Five minutes later his wife walked in and then there were three. We shared a passion for restaurants, travelling to new places, smutty jokes, ridiculous challenges, … Continue reading Swimming in Sweden
